Rollercoaster
I think that title diminishes how big of a shift I had yesterday.
First off, we woke up bright and early and went fishing in the Gulf. I was exhausted because we moved The Girl out of her dorm Friday. However, I knew the water and wind would help me. And boy, did it! I enjoyed every wave. Each splash in my face awakened me. The wind swirling around me cleansed me. I felt so much peace.
Then, the horror of my evening. I thought The Boy's dog peed on my floor. For the record, that's how she retaliates. And for two days in a row we weren't home to let her be free in the house. My anxiety broke when I requested The Hubby's help and he didn't come straight away. Then, when I tried to apologize, he made it worse. He got short with me, threw down some things to get them out the way of the mess, and made a mess of my altar area. I felt like I was the one thrown on the wall. I broke. I curled up in a ball in bed and fell hard. I went straight into depression and drowned. And, the whole time, no one was there to help stop my fall. That hurt even more.
After I don't know how long, I found myself having to write. And I did. I wrote exactly how I felt. And it was bad. I didn't come out of it until The Hubby showed back up for me. I don't know how long it lasted. I only know I mostly hated myself because it had been SO long since this happened. And I thought this journey after shadowwork was the reason.
I'm still young at this, and obviously still don't know much. I did SO much work and meditation and cleansing this morning. I have to make it right with nature and myself. I worked until I felt peace with the thought of the Goddess again.
My Oracle card this morning?
Boundaries
Basically told me about my walls and unhealthy defenses I have acquired throughout the years.
So yeah, score one yet again for the Divinations.
First off, we woke up bright and early and went fishing in the Gulf. I was exhausted because we moved The Girl out of her dorm Friday. However, I knew the water and wind would help me. And boy, did it! I enjoyed every wave. Each splash in my face awakened me. The wind swirling around me cleansed me. I felt so much peace.
Then, the horror of my evening. I thought The Boy's dog peed on my floor. For the record, that's how she retaliates. And for two days in a row we weren't home to let her be free in the house. My anxiety broke when I requested The Hubby's help and he didn't come straight away. Then, when I tried to apologize, he made it worse. He got short with me, threw down some things to get them out the way of the mess, and made a mess of my altar area. I felt like I was the one thrown on the wall. I broke. I curled up in a ball in bed and fell hard. I went straight into depression and drowned. And, the whole time, no one was there to help stop my fall. That hurt even more.
After I don't know how long, I found myself having to write. And I did. I wrote exactly how I felt. And it was bad. I didn't come out of it until The Hubby showed back up for me. I don't know how long it lasted. I only know I mostly hated myself because it had been SO long since this happened. And I thought this journey after shadowwork was the reason.
I'm still young at this, and obviously still don't know much. I did SO much work and meditation and cleansing this morning. I have to make it right with nature and myself. I worked until I felt peace with the thought of the Goddess again.
My Oracle card this morning?
Boundaries
Basically told me about my walls and unhealthy defenses I have acquired throughout the years.
So yeah, score one yet again for the Divinations.
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