Hurt
Let's take a moment off the topic of witchery...
Instead, I want to tell you something more personal about my life. I have a sister....technically a 1/2 sister, but I didn't know that 'til we were adults. Anyway, she's about 6 1/2 years older than me. She didn't like me growing up. I was the annoying little bother. Once she was an adult and moved out, we became closer, but never really close. I always wanted to be close. But as the years have passed, she just never reciprocated. I was always one call away--but the call was always when she needed something.
I could go into more detail, but I'm working on release all the hurt, so I just won't. In November, she and her family moved 5 hours away. It made sense for them--her son is in college there and her daughter went to my daughter's school (she dropped this semester). I try to stay in contact with my niece and nephew, but they respond about as much as she does.
Anyway, December came, as did my hysterectomy. I didn't get checked on once. Christmas came, and while I gave gifts to my niece and nephew, my kids got nothing (nothing new for them, sadly). Then, I found this journey that has led me onto the path of witchcraft and Paganism. I didn't exactly tell anyone, including my sister. I just did what I feel is what I'm supposed to do. I joined a few groups on social media. I read and meditated and learned. I grew.
Then, in February I believe, I see a post in a group--from my SISTER. Yep, apparently she, too, is a witch. This hurt--
OK--more backstory--when I was a teen, I thought I was a witch. I started reading and looking into it. My sister made fun of me. I took what I'm sure was nothing to her to heart, and gave up. It took me from the time I was about 14 to now to finally accept and embrace this part of me, and a lot of that had to do with her reactions.
So yeah, she's a witch. She still says nothing to me, even though I'm more out in the open now. And, sadly, I don't let go of the hope that I could be close to her.
I still make contact once in a while. Today, she posted a video of my niece making pizza. I private messaged her that "I miss that kid."...I thought, surly she'll say she misses us or my kids at least.
I get back, "I miss normal life."
Wow...that hit hard. She does't miss me. She doesn't miss my kids. I have a strong feeling that, once my parents are gone, I won't hear from her ever again. And I can't stop it from hurting so much....
Instead, I want to tell you something more personal about my life. I have a sister....technically a 1/2 sister, but I didn't know that 'til we were adults. Anyway, she's about 6 1/2 years older than me. She didn't like me growing up. I was the annoying little bother. Once she was an adult and moved out, we became closer, but never really close. I always wanted to be close. But as the years have passed, she just never reciprocated. I was always one call away--but the call was always when she needed something.
I could go into more detail, but I'm working on release all the hurt, so I just won't. In November, she and her family moved 5 hours away. It made sense for them--her son is in college there and her daughter went to my daughter's school (she dropped this semester). I try to stay in contact with my niece and nephew, but they respond about as much as she does.
Anyway, December came, as did my hysterectomy. I didn't get checked on once. Christmas came, and while I gave gifts to my niece and nephew, my kids got nothing (nothing new for them, sadly). Then, I found this journey that has led me onto the path of witchcraft and Paganism. I didn't exactly tell anyone, including my sister. I just did what I feel is what I'm supposed to do. I joined a few groups on social media. I read and meditated and learned. I grew.
Then, in February I believe, I see a post in a group--from my SISTER. Yep, apparently she, too, is a witch. This hurt--
OK--more backstory--when I was a teen, I thought I was a witch. I started reading and looking into it. My sister made fun of me. I took what I'm sure was nothing to her to heart, and gave up. It took me from the time I was about 14 to now to finally accept and embrace this part of me, and a lot of that had to do with her reactions.
So yeah, she's a witch. She still says nothing to me, even though I'm more out in the open now. And, sadly, I don't let go of the hope that I could be close to her.
I still make contact once in a while. Today, she posted a video of my niece making pizza. I private messaged her that "I miss that kid."...I thought, surly she'll say she misses us or my kids at least.
I get back, "I miss normal life."
Wow...that hit hard. She does't miss me. She doesn't miss my kids. I have a strong feeling that, once my parents are gone, I won't hear from her ever again. And I can't stop it from hurting so much....
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