The North
I have returned from our long journey in Minnesota. We drove there, moved my husband in, spent time adventuring, and drove home. We have been home for a couple of days, and I'm still exhausted!
So much happened in the past few weeks...
I fell more in love with Minnesota
My daughter lost a dear friend
I struggled with my depression knowing I'd have to leave my husband there
I was outdoors more than I've been since I was a kid
I also found it hard to be a witch up there...mostly because most of my books and things were down south. I did my daily card pull from my Oracles still...and 9 out of 10 I pulled the "well being" card. I know now that it was fussing me. I didn't put myself first up there very much. I wanted my daughter to get the most out of our time. It became even more important after her friend took his life. A child should never have to struggle with such loss. I was so worried about her. She went into idle mode--not talking much, not wanting to do much...it broke my heart. I also put my husband first a lot because I knew we'd be without each other for a long time.
I know I did way too much on the trip. I'm paying for it now. And I know I need to relearn how to put my own well being first. I am going to put my learning and my health first during this part of my life. I have to have something to pour myself into since I have to learn to live alone, so why not this?
I wanted to get my Reiki business up and running once I got home, but with Covid, I'm not quite sure I'll be able to. Besides, I shouldn't be trying to help others when I need to help myself. I had become so proud of being Harley Aalah LaLaurie--I need to find that again.
But for now, rest and getting the house back in order is priority. I have to learn a new normal that doesn't include the huge amount of help Marlin gave. I have to learn to be OK by myself. I have to learn to make it through struggles without my best friend and rock. I pray I can get to Minnesota sooner than two years, but I have to be practical and prepare for this long chapter in our lives--alone.
So much happened in the past few weeks...
I fell more in love with Minnesota
My daughter lost a dear friend
I struggled with my depression knowing I'd have to leave my husband there
I was outdoors more than I've been since I was a kid
I also found it hard to be a witch up there...mostly because most of my books and things were down south. I did my daily card pull from my Oracles still...and 9 out of 10 I pulled the "well being" card. I know now that it was fussing me. I didn't put myself first up there very much. I wanted my daughter to get the most out of our time. It became even more important after her friend took his life. A child should never have to struggle with such loss. I was so worried about her. She went into idle mode--not talking much, not wanting to do much...it broke my heart. I also put my husband first a lot because I knew we'd be without each other for a long time.
I know I did way too much on the trip. I'm paying for it now. And I know I need to relearn how to put my own well being first. I am going to put my learning and my health first during this part of my life. I have to have something to pour myself into since I have to learn to live alone, so why not this?
I wanted to get my Reiki business up and running once I got home, but with Covid, I'm not quite sure I'll be able to. Besides, I shouldn't be trying to help others when I need to help myself. I had become so proud of being Harley Aalah LaLaurie--I need to find that again.
But for now, rest and getting the house back in order is priority. I have to learn a new normal that doesn't include the huge amount of help Marlin gave. I have to learn to be OK by myself. I have to learn to make it through struggles without my best friend and rock. I pray I can get to Minnesota sooner than two years, but I have to be practical and prepare for this long chapter in our lives--alone.
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